Surviving and Thriving the Holidays with Kids
Preparing for the holidays can be stressful, especially when attending family gatherings. However, children are little sponges so if we are portraying tension and stress, so will the kids! This is why it is important to learn when you need to take a break. You can take a few minutes to yourself or do a deep breathing exercise.
There are also master tips to help your children prepare:
Remember Behavior is what we do in response to feelings. Behavior is the communication of how your child is doing. It is not good or bad, it is just information. Listen to what your child is showing you through their behaviors.
Start easing your children's minds. You can do this by showing the children photos of people who are likely to be at the gathering. This allows them to put faces to names. If you don't have a family album, Facebook is a great modern way to do this.
Prepare them for what to expect. Talk to your kids about what is going to happen at the gathering or event. If there is dinner you may want to explain table etiquette and prepare them for things like prayer and when to start eating.
Don't change your child's schedule. Gatherings often happen around mealtime. I recommend feeding your children at their normal time to ensure there is no meltdowns from being hungry or off schedule. Sometimes this means you have to feed them before you go.
Don't overschedule. Sometimes we try to schedule multiple things in one day to make sure we visit with everyone. This leads to long days and ultimately cranky kids. If you must travel between houses, allow time for naps. This may mean in the car, but car naps are better than no naps.
Set realistic expectations for your kids. Holidays can be exciting and overwhelming which can lead to a rollercoaster of emotions. When you are prepared for all of the possibilities of the day when it comes to emotions, you will be less stressed when those highs and lows come.
Be a good model - Patience. Model the behaviors you want your children to present. We cannot expect our children to have patience when we are not able to do the same.
Remember to share. Remind your children how to share and take turns if there will be other children present. Do this in a loving way and excited voice so they hear you and have a better experience with playtime.
Communicate expectations. Before the event get to your child's eye level and go over the rules you expect of him or her. During the event, acknowledge when you see the behavior you expect. If there is a history of an undesirable behavior be clear of what the consequences will be if they present with the behavior.
Some children have sensitivities or other circumstances. Here are some tips on how to prepare for those scenarios:
Picky Eaters: If your child is a picky eater, don't assume they will eat a new food at the event. Feed them before you get there to avoid any issues. If it is appropriate bring food along that you know they will eat or offer a reward for any new foods they may try.
Noise Sensitivities: If you know your child has trouble with loud environments or crowded spaces, have an understanding when he or she struggles during the event. Allow the child breaks from the noise to decompress when needed and watch for signs when that break is needed.
Sensitivity to Touch: If your child has trouble with touch, over-excited relatives who haven't seen them in a while can be overwhelming. Be your child's advocate. Tell others your child needs time to warm up before all the hugs. Tell your child before the event to acknowledge each person with eye contact so they will be less likely to touch them.
Sensitivity to Smell: If you know your child struggles with scents, remind them that other people may wear strong perfumes or other scents may be in the environment but we do not want to say anything negative out loud about it. Allow your child to whisper in your ear when they do not like a scent. Bring along something that your child enjoys smelling to help them feel more comfortable.
The holidays are a time for joy but can also be a time for stress and meltdowns. I hope these tips help you have a less stressful holiday season!